An Open Letter to Barnes & Noble

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Dear Barnes & Noble,

What were you thinking?

Who on earth thought it would be a good idea to name you new E-Reader device the nook? I mean, really? Do you know anything about pop culture and slang from the last few decades? I would love to know what kind of focus groups you used to demo the name and marketing, or did you use focus groups at all? Because I don’t know who wouldn’t have told you this is a bad idea.

And did you even give a thought to what your booksellers are going to have to endure, answering questions about the nook(ie)? Not to mention all the jokes they’re going to be subject to. Trust me, there is an endless supply of nook jokes out there, from the innocent “nook, nook” jokes to more suggestive humor.

Not to mention the fact that within less than 24 hours of the nook’s announcement, some anonymous B&N employees have already begun re-writing Limp Bizkit’s “Nookie” in honor of the nook. Do you realize how obnoxious it is to have the words, “And you can take you Kindle and stick it up your…” stuck in your head all day long?

And it’s really bad that the device itself doesn’t even come out until the end of November and I’m already having trouble using the name in a sentence with a straight face. We still have more than a month of nook jokes to go.

I realize it’s too late to change the name now, but I really hope next time you’re a little more careful when selecting the name of something as monumental to the company as this device apparently is.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen

PS – If you were to, say, give out free nooks to all your employees in an effort to encourage them to familiarize themselves with the device for customer questions, then I would be more than willing to forgive you for this minor naming indiscretion.

7 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Barnes & Noble

    holly said:
    February 27, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    nook nook
    whos there
    boo
    boo hoo
    boo hoo i will stop crying soon

    Like

    Dodd@gmail.com said:
    February 7, 2010 at 8:23 pm

    I highly recommend the Amazon Kindle as the top choice for ebook readers.

    Like

      Charissa said:
      March 4, 2010 at 9:41 am

      I’m afraid I must disagree. After I got past my initial issues with the naming of this device, I have actually grown quite fond of it. I prefer the design of nook to the Kindle. I’m not a fan of all the tiny buttons Kindle has, I definitely prefer the touch screen on nook.

      Like

    Kara Knittel said:
    February 3, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    The internet is a handy tool for life when utilized in this estate. As opposed to when it is utilized as a source of entertainment. Merci

    Like

    Richard Curtis said:
    October 26, 2009 at 12:23 am

    Big shoutout for your Open Letter to BN.Com on our E-Reads blog. Thanks for a great post!

    See The E-Book Reader That Dare Not Speak Its Name
    http://www.ereads.com/2009/10/e-book-reader-that-dare-not-speak-its.html
    Richard Curtis

    Like

    raputathebuta said:
    October 22, 2009 at 10:14 am

    Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

    Oh wait…that’s a little more Curly than B&N. *snerk*

    Like

      Charissa said:
      October 24, 2009 at 7:29 pm

      Would you please set aside those keys once in a while? Your driving my blog straight into the gutter!

      Like

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