(Not) The Right Stuff

I’m struggling with writer’s block on my thesis today, so I decided to try writing a blog post instead and see if I could shake something loose.

As I stated in my previous post, my best friend and I went to a New Kids on the Block concert last weekend. Opening for the New Kids were 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men, so the entire concert was one big throwback to our teen years (and childhood, I’m too young to have been a teenager when NKOTB started out). My friend Sarah is still a huge boy band fanatic, and while I don’t listen to modern boy bands at all, I still have a soft spot for the boy bands I loved when I was younger. Neither of us could resist this show, just like we couldn’t resist seeing NKOTBSB (twice) two years ago. (I mean, New Kids and Backstreet Boys? That’s just a given!)

When we went to the concert two years ago we were amazed by the age range of fans. We expected the majority of the crowd to be around our age or older, since we were certain Beiber fans had no idea who the New Kids on the Block were (or that they should thank them for making it possible for bands like One Direction to exist). We knew some younger fans had probably heard of the Backstreet Boys, but we weren’t prepared for just how many younger fans were there. All were clearly there just for BSB, as they just sat and stared whenever NKOTB were on stage. Clearly they had no appreciation for the guys who started the boy band craze.

This year however, the crowd was exactly what we had expected the first time around. Most likely because 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men haven’t done a lot of touring (or recording) in years, so most of the younger generation is even less familiar with them than NKOTB. Unfortunately, being surrounded by mostly adult women led to one side effect we hadn’t (but probably should have) foreseen: drunk fangirls. I’m sure some of these women were tipsy before the show even started, as there were a number of tailgating parties in the parking lot (I didn’t even know tailgating for a New Kids concert – or any concert for that matter – was a thing; I thought it was reserved for sporting events). The woman sitting in front of Sarah was completely wasted before Boyz II Men (the opening act) was even halfway through their set (and I’m pretty sure she smuggled some of her booze in with her, as she was drinking from a liquor bottle not normally sold in stadiums and still possessing it’s lid).

In light of this experience, I came up with a couple tips I just thought I’d share before you get drunk at a concert and make a complete idiot out of yourself (I mean, I don’t know about you, but my idea of a good time doesn’t involve becoming that girl everyone laughed at for being falling-down-drunk at a New Kids on the Block concert).

1. Dress Appropriately (and with proper support): This is a big one, especially if you’re a big girl. When you’re sitting all the way up in the nosebleed section (so far you can’t even make out anyone’s faces without the big screen) then I guarantee Donnie Wahlberg cannot see your chest and no one around you really wants to either. Maybe the person you keep texting selfies to does (or at least doesn’t care), but that person ain’t here. It’s one thing if Jordan and Donnie want to shed their shirts on stage, but you are another story entirely and the last thing anyone wants is a full-frontal while you’re jumping up and down and waving your arms. Though it will give those around you a chance to place bets on whether or not your girls will actually pop out at some point during the show.
2. Don’t Violate Someone Else’s Personal Space: If you’re going to insist on using the back of your seat as a chair itself, please refrain from sitting on, or even just rubbing you behind on the legs of the person in front of you. And if you do, don’t get annoyed if said person then kicks you back. Your friends may not mind you invading their personal space, but the person behind you most likely has no idea who you are and would like to be able to sit comfortably in the seat they paid for without you trying to sit in their lap. Along the same lines, when you actually are sitting in your seat, don’t whip your head back really hard because you just might come into contact with someone else’s shin or knee and that hurts a lot (and it will probably hurt even more the next morning, when you have that head ache on top of the hangover).
3. Don’t Trip and Fall Face First into the Row in Front of You: Okay, so this didn’t actually happen, but at one point I was pretty sure it was going to. She literally began falling forward and I didn’t think she was going to catch her balance, but somehow she did. I’m pretty sure the guy in front of her was ticked off though, he left shortly after and wasn’t seen again for the rest of the show (she of course took advantage of this by dangling her legs over his seat and nearly kicking the people on either side). We spent much of the rest of the concert wondering if she was going to fall every time she stood up, and then I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if she did. Those rows in the stadium are pretty steep. If someone had enough momentum, would they just keep tumbling down the seats until they fell out over the edge of the stadium seating? I pretty much came to the conclusion that if your drunk in the stadium and you fall you could die. And that would put a pretty big damper on everyone’s concert experience. However, if she just fell into the next row or two and didn’t die, Sarah and I may have died from laughter and this would be a much more interesting story to tell.
4. Friends Don’t Let Friends Make Fools of Themselves: What I really didn’t understand is why this girl’s friends didn’t try to intervene a little bit, especially when it looked like she was about ready to topple into the row in front of her. It’s understandable that they wouldn’t want to have to leave the concert because their friend is a sloppy drunk, but at least try to get her slow down on the booze, and maybe stay in her seat where it’s a little safer. They could have also suggested that sitting on a stranger’s legs isn’t a great idea, instead of just ignoring everything their so-called friend is doing. If I had been the drunk girl, I probably would have been rather upset with my friends the next day (assuming I could actually remember anything that happened during the concert … which may be another reason to be angry; if I’m paying to see a concert like that I definitely want to be able to remember it the next day).

I respect everyone’s right to enjoy the concert the way they would like to enjoy it, but is it really necessary to become so intoxicated you’re ruining the experience for those around you? While the drunk women around us didn’t prevent us from enjoying the concert at all, I definitely preferred the clueless teeny-boppers from the previous tour. At least they were quiet (and not old enough to buy alcohol). And if you do decide to get wasted, don’t be surprised when the sober people around you are laughing at you (definitely not with you), and possibly taking photos and/or video (neither of which we did, but it was tempting).